From the time I can remember, I suffered incredible bouts of shocking, soul-searing loneliness.
These events would often happen when I was in a crowd, either at a family gathering or some type of outing. It seemed to begin with a sudden pop in my ears accompanied by what I can only describe as a heightened sense of hearing as well as a heightened sense of silence at the same time.
My entire awareness would then be completely swallowed by a terrifying aloneness, an aloneness that threatened to suffocate me instantly.
I would desperately pray that the feelings would pass and that I would go back to feeling normal, or at least my sense of normal. I dreaded having these experiences. It was very strange, almost physically unbearable, and painful.
Loneliness is painful for everyone. People feel that others can be too wrapped up in their cell phones, busyness, or otherwise distracted. While there is truth to this, I want to speak of another kind of loneliness. It is a loneliness that cannot be healed by being with others. It is a loneliness that is pervasive, no matter where one is and what the situation is.
This loneliness I am talking about is the loneliness that can only be filled by our conscious union with the Divinity within. It is the longing for our true selves, our deepest selves, our Divine selves.
It is the loneliness that will only be solved when we engage in a path of awakening.
If this sounds like it may be the kind of loneliness you are feeling, know that you are not alone! I love you and see you! I will also write more about an initial pathway, turning loneliness into longing. Longing for your way home!